Surviving 2020: A Rough Twelve Months

As you may have noticed, it’s been over half a year since my latest blog post. Last year was one of the toughest years of my life. Not only was there a global pandemic wreaking havoc, I also struggled with my health like never before. Even though I really enjoy blogging, I had to take some time off. Health comes first!

Now I’m hoping I have enough energy to slowly be able to start incorporating things that make me happy again in my life. Baby steps!

Chronic Migraine Sucks

I got my first migraine attack when I was 13 years old. For the most part of my life migraine attacks have been more of an occasional nuisance than anything more debilitating. But in December 2019 I suddenly started getting frequent headaches and migraines that quickly turned chronic.

Things hit a real low-point in December 2020 and Christmas and New Years I was in and out of the ER. In January I was hospitalised for three days during a particularly aggressive attack.

It goes without saying that this has been extremely rough. The pain has been something so excruciating that when it’s at its worst it really feels like I’m going to die from it. And the worst part was that for months nothing really helped.

Being in pain that just goes on and on can be very lonely. You long for human contact, but you’re in too much pain to be able to do anything.

Being ill during a pandemic has also been extremely stressful. Every time I’ve been worse, I’ve been really scared about having to go to the ER or the hospital.

Stuck in Darkness

Finland is in many ways a great country to live in. For example, it was just ranked as the happiest country in the world for the fourth year in a row. But the winter season is so rough. It’s freezing and the level of darkness we have is hard to grasp if you don’t experience it yourself. It’s literally dark ALL the time. And to make matters worse winter drags on for ages, we’re talking five – even six – months.

Some people seem to cope just fine, but there are many who, like me, find the dark, cold season super hard. Most years I’ve been able to travel somewhere a bit brighter during the winter season. Even if just for a week or two it has a huge impact getting that little boost of sun, vitamin D and serotonin.

This year because of the corona situation obviously this was out of the question.

Light at the End of the Tunnel?

What's Tulum really like

I don’t now if it’s a real turning point or just more of calm-before-the-storm moment (and I certainly don’t want to jinx it or be too excited too soon). But either way, the past few weeks have been better. Not good or normal, but better. And that’s saying a lot, considering how bad this was just a few months ago.

I sincerely hope that the worst is now behind me. If not, at least I feel stronger and more prepared for whatever comes my way next.

And the pandemic? Let’s all hope that the worst of that too is now behind us. Some people cope better than others, but I for one have been struggling every day. I love meeting people, hugs, travel – all those things we’re not able to do now. However, with the number of vaccinated people growing (excruciatingly slowly, but still!) we’re fighting this virus one step at a time.

There’s also something about spring in general, and this spring in particular, that feels so hopeful. There seems to be a faint promise of better days to come in the air, don’t you think?


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